How Can We Help Our Children Be Successful?
Posted by Michelle on October 3, 2019
Parents gathered at our first parent education event last Friday. Montessori consultant Kristen Ancker presented ways to help our children succeed.
When asked “What are your parenting challenges?” responses included: time management, getting our children to eat, go to bed and do their homework, getting our children to listen and our own lack of patience, among others. We discussed strategies that can help us to respond effectively. Here are just a few:
Create routine charts with your child. Ask what steps they need to take to get ready for bed, school, etc. Provide your input and create a chart together. When your child is veering off course, ask what is next on the chart. Refer to the chart instead of losing your patience.
Positive time out space. Ask your child “What makes you feel better when you are really upset?” Create a space that supports your child to become regulated and give it a name. At ASM, we call this the Peace Corner. It may have books, music, art supplies, etc. When dysregulated your child can spend time in an area that soothes them until they are ready to talk or rejoin the family.
Parent time out. If you can’t respond to your child’s behavior without anger, let your child know that you need a positive time out in your own space. This gives you the ability to take a few deep breaths and compose yourself. Don’t return to the problem until you and your child are ready to talk calmly about the situation.
Ask your child a question that lets them know what you want them to do instead of telling them not to do something. Instead of “Do your homework!” ask “What is your plan for getting your homework done?”
Do-over. When your child into the parking lot without holding your hand, explain that rules for safety exist because you love them and repeat the act.
Finally, while your child learns how to behave and you develop strategies for success, your child always needs to feel unconditional love and significance.